Musical Chairs: house of cards

Musical Chairs is a small blog I started a couple years ago to document sort of a musical journey through bipolar disorder and the world of mental health care.  I have decided to occasionally post some of those old posts and some new ones here.  I feel music is such an integral part of everyone’s journey and healing.  Many of my experiences definitely had a soundtrack and songs have definitely saved my life at many stops.  Enjoy the journey…

 

Your house of cards is gonna fall

Sooner or later

You will pay for

Your house of cards is gonna fall

Too late to cry your gonna get yours

Your house of cards is gonna fall

 

artist: Foreign Exchange

song: House of Cards

album: Leave It All Behind

 

house of cards crashing

crash!

Mental illness is a cruel, cruel jokester. It makes shitty situations seem perfectly comfortable and/or logical until you get close to a rock bottom scenario. In my case, I think my long non-diagnosed bipolar disorder has contributed to some odd behavior throughout my entire life. Looking back now, after being officially diagnosed,  I see that I can’t explain a lot of my actions/decisions.

 

During what I now know were manic episodes, I displayed an array of self destructive behaviors.  Think of like 10 crazy/bad behaviors you think you would never do…  I am sure I have done 7 of them.   In fact, they read like a textbook bipolar diagnosis.  A lot of the shit I barely remember the  details, let alone a why.   When I finally “come to my senses” in  something resembling normalcy, I have to try and fix everything.

 

Guess what happens when you try to fix everything all at once.  Nothing good.  Then try doing this cycle over and over for more than 15 years and you’ll understand why it is so hard for me to crawl out of my depressions.  So if you suspect even a little that you may be suffering from sort of mental illness, please ask for help.  Because take it from me, your house of cards is gonna fall sooner or later…

Love Alise Naturally Alise

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