and about triggers…

I generally start each day pretty much normal, at least my normal.  I wake up, drink coffee, check twitter, check and mock facebook, and go about the matters of  my day.  This is the routine even when I may be teetering on the edge of depression or mania (or those  fun times when it is a little of both, but i digress).  Generally speaking I am a friendly, level headed, mildly chatty gal.  However, in the midst of these normal days there will be something that will lurk out of the shadows and and steal my joy.

Triggers.  Some triggers are obvious, like me seeing a rape headline, because I am  a sexual assault survivor or  like today seeing a headline of a young black girl committing suicide, because I have been suicidal and tried to go through with it twice.   Though huge, these are the type of triggers I can cope and deal with usually pretty well.  I talk about these big topics with my therapist/psychiatrist/doctor and have worked on them with great intensity.


But the little triggers, those are the doozies.  They always knock the wind out of me with a sucker punch to the gut.  They surprise you and circumvent all the coping mechanisms you’ve been working on.  Some of these things catch me off guard:

… smelling something  that transports me to a painful memory

… hearing a seemingly innocuous song that starts an avalanche of feelings

… social media starts talking about something very loosely related to a past trauma

… hearing someone argue or raise their voice really causes great anxiety and can totally affect my whole day

What are some of the triggers you deal with?  How do you cope?

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  • cinawendela

    WOW! Never really thought about triggers. I really havent learned to identify them. I find myself at times going back to painful times when in the midst of stressful or overwhelming situations that gut punch me into a mild depressive state. Like you, I am a survivor of a sexual assault. Although my husband has ingrained in me that I somehow am the cause….I have taken pills to knock myself out (high school) & have been a cutter to redirect the emotional pain. Now my coping is in alcohol, tattoos (luckily i stay broke or I’d be covered), chocolate….unfortunately, I have neither a circle of friends or an available “boo” here to help me escape in times of need….uh…too long winded…sorry

  • NiqSpeaks

    Every time you share a piece of your life, there’s always somebody waiting and needing to hear that they’re not alone in what they’re going through. That’s what I love about your blog. Keep up the work, love!

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