reach out…

reach out hand

reach out…

Such a vital part of living with mental illness or just for any person going through a tough time is a support system of friends or trusted family.  I just wanted to share a snippet of conversation I had with a friend earlier today (with their permission, of course) of one of the many RIGHT things to say to a friend in pain.    Also, I want to touch on a few quick major tips when interacting with someone in pain or distress.


  • state your love
  • offer empathy or sympathy, whichever applies
  • be your normal self, for example:  if this is someone you normally make jokes with, try to slide in some very mild/subtle  silliness or something you know will make them smile.
  • let them know you are a safe space



  • tell someone what to feel
  • lose your patience
  • force a person to talk
  • abandon  the person if they need to be alone for a while


here’s the conversation:


me: Are you feeling better than earlier?
friend:  yeah kinda
but afraid it’ll come back once alone again
it ebbs and flows
basically i need a constant distraction from my bad thoughts
me:  I’ve been there
I understand bae
friend:  mmhmm
me:  Well remember you can also call me  or any of your other friends  if you need talking distraction
friend:  i appreciate that
i’m working on that because i tend to isolate myself when this happens
me:  Well I tried that isolation thing and we see how that worked out
So please reach out, we love you
 I might love you best because this is totally a contest
Because competitive.
 friend: LOL
(see, I made her laugh even though stressed…)
Love Alise
  • cinawendela

    OMG!!! Why can’t I have that kind of support? I would be at the altar every Sunday, sometimes with my kids, other times crying silently or loudly, depending. At no time is a hand stretched out or even a call later just to “get out” and enjoy…..ok..sigh…depression setting in at such a loss..

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